Hades has spent yet another day in the Underworld. He sits at his throne, alone, except for the usual sounds that typically come from the Styx River, and other Underworld sounds. There was really nothing for him to attend to at that moment, and he was all alone. There wasn't anyone he could talk to, either. Zeus made sure of that. The few that would make their way to the Underworld usually would get discouraged after the boat ride with Charon and all the lost souls that would travel, and rarely made it past Cerberus. Those that did rarely brought good tidings with them.
The pools that made up a decent portion of his throne room each played scenes and moments that were happening at that time. One in particular that caught his eye, was the reflection of the daughter of Demeter, Persephone. She was with her mother, who stood over her protectively, both tending to the numerous gardens that surrounded them. He felt the sting of Cupid's arrow in him when he set his eyes on Persephone. Perhaps she could help illuminate his dark world. He immediately made his way to the upper lands. He recognized the area and knew exactly where to find her.
Persephone was admiring her mother's handiwork, plucking and gathering them when he found her. Demeter was nearby but was distracted, and didn't notice when Hades made his presence and abducted Persephone, until he had her in his arms. Demeter sprang into action and used whatever was at her disposal, controlling the vines, and trees to save her daughter. But it was futile, and they had escaped into the depths of the Underworld. The earth immediately began to die, and winter was born.
Persephone cannot even bear the sight of him. He tries to calm her down, but she refuses to speak, or acknowledge him.
Beaten, Hades slumps over in defeat, head down low as he sat back in his throne, cradling one of the flowers that Persephone had gathered. She notices and her heart softens. Persephone makes her way to Hades, and touches his hand. He smiles at her (perhaps the first time such a thing had ever happened to him) and places the flower in her hair.
He offers her food, and hands her a pomegranate. His eyes plead that she take it, and she guiltily accepts it, not knowing that eating food of the Underworld would guarantee her stay, and keep her from her mother. Persephone takes six seeds.
Interesting. I was able to visualize the story well. I am a wondering if Persephone taking the pomegranate mean she has to stay in Hades?
ReplyDeleteStart with something that grabs our interest! This beginning has nothing happening. A lot is described here that will not be in the film. Your story is written internally – it is all happening in Hades’ head. You must externalize how your characters are feeling and show us via actions. Write in the now and describe exactly what happens. When you describe Persephone’s abduction it is passive, in the past tense, and the events are not detailed. You imply dialogue “He tries to calm her down, but she refuses to speak, or acknowledge him. “ There is no dialogue – please write actions. Why would she soften? I do not believe the characters. The characters are not alive or believable – the opening is all internal and what happens once Persephone is captured makes little sense. Find reason in who the characters are – develop their personalities. The myth you are attempting to retell has complexity that I am concerned you will not successfully communicate in the short time the project permits.
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